OUR PRE-WRITTEN FORTUNES

 

Can't decide what to write?? Then browse through

some of our pre-written fortunes and maybe you'll get inspired!

Birthday:

1. All of your birthday wishes will come true. Happy Birthday.

2. The coming year will bring health, happiness and an unexpected adventure.

    Happy Birthday!!

Belated Birthday:

1. Forgiveness and understanding of two of your greatest qualities.
    Sorry for missing your birthday. Happy Belated.

Milestone and Over-The-Hill Birthday:

1. Inside every older person is a younger person - wondering what the hell happened.    

     - Cora Harvey Armstrong
2. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am

     - Bernard Baruch
3. A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never her age.

     - Robert Frost
4. You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime

     - John P. Grier
5. Let us respect gray hairs, especially our own

     - J.P. Sears
6. Age is a high price to pay for maturity.

     - Tom Stoppard
7. If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.
      - Euripides
8. Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you have not committed

      - Anthony Powell
9. Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.
      - Robert Frost
10. Thirty-five is a very attractive age; London society is full of women who have 

of their own free choice remained thirty-five for years.
      -Oscar Wilde
11. Life begins at forty.
      -W.B.Pitkin
12.Middle Age: When you begin to exchange your emotions for symptoms.
      -Georges Clemenceau
13. There is still no cure for the common birthday.
      - John Glenn
14. Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
      - Unknown
15. Age is a number and mine is unlisted.
      - Anonymous
16. Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternatives.
      - Maurice Chevalier
17. If you carry your childhood with you, you never become older.
      - Abraham Sutzkever
18. The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
      -Lucille Ball
19. Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
      - Jack Benny
20. The older the fiddle, the sweeter the tune.
      - English Proverb
21. Those whom the gods love grow young.
      - Oscar Wilde
22. It takes a long time to grow young.
      - Pablo Picasso
23. Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.
      - Rev. Larry Lorenzoni
24. The old believe everything; the middle-aged suspect everything; the young know everything.
      - Oscar Wilde
25. Middle-age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
      -Bob Hope
26. The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know you'll grow out of it.
      - Doris Day
27. At twenty years of age, the will reigns; at thirty, the wit; and at forty, the judgment.
      - Benjamin Franklin
28. Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
      - Charles Schultz
29. Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
      - Ingrid Bergman

30. Middle age is when you believe you'll feel better in the morning.
      - Bob Hope
31. You take all the experience and judgment of men over fifty out of the world and there wouldn't be enough left to run it.
      - Henry Ford
32. Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard

there is nothing you can do about it.
      - Golda Meir
33. Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
      - Ogden Nash
34. The lovely thing about being forty is that you can appreciate twenty-five year-old men.
      - Colleen McCullough
35. To me, old age is always ten years older than I am.
      - John Burroughs
36. Youth is happy because it has the ability to see beauty. Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.
      - Franz Kafka
37. The spiritual eyesight improves as the physical eyesight declines.
      - Plato
38. Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age.
      - French Proverb
39.Be kind to your kids, they'll be choosing your nursing home.
      - Unknown

40. Congratulations... half your life is now over. Happy Birthday!!

41. Party like a rock star now, because soon you won't be able to. Happy Birthday!!

42. Soon people will be gathering around you, try and smile through your oxygen mask. Happy Birthday!!

43. You are very good at unraveling things...you seem to have no trouble with your I V lines.

Happy Birthday!!

44. So many candles... so little breath. Happy Birthday!!

45. Growing old... it's not always nice, but it's interesting.

Retirement:

1. Behind you are all your achievements and accomplishments. Before you are endless possibilities. Congratulations on your retirement.

2. Life is an adventure. Enjoy every moment. Congratulations on your retirement.

Get Well:

1. May your road to recovery be a short one. Get well soon.

Congratulations:

1. Many warm wishes for your happiness together. Congratulations of your marriage.

2. Congratulations and best wishes to you on this special day.

3. When you set your mind to it, you can achieve anything. Congratulations on your recent success.

4. May your new home bring you years of joy and happiness. Congratulations.

5. A lifetime of love, joy and happiness are in store for you both. Congratulations on your engagement.

Thank You:

1. I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you so much.

2. Your hard work and dedication are greatly appreciated. Thank you.

3. Your business is greatly appreciated. Thank you.

4. Many thanks!

5. Your presence is greatly appreciated. Thank you for attending.

6. Thank you for your thoughtfulness.

7. Thank you for attending my party.

8. Thank you for always being there.

Wedding:

1. May the special love you share grow deeper through a lifetime together.

2. A lifetime of love, joy and happiness are in store for you both.

3. All the riches in life you both shall have.

4. May your honeymoon never end.

5. May your love endure for many years.

6. Wishing you a married life where shared joys and dreams come true and find you even more in love.

Anniversary:

1. May the love you share grow with every passing day. Happy Anniversary.

2. May your special day be filled with joy, laughter and love. Happy Anniversary.

Graduation:

1. Wishing you new adventures to discover and new challenges to conquer.
    Congratulations on your graduation.

2. Congratulations Graduate! You will be successful in everything you pursue.

Good Luck:

1. Good luck and good fortune await you.

2. Good bye, good luck and success in all you do.

3. Good luck on the big game!!!

Baby:
1. Less sleep is in your future. Congratulations on your new arrival.

2. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

3. Looks like you'll be seeing blue. Congratulations on your new baby boy.

4. Looks like you'll be seeing pink. Congratulations on your new baby girl.

Teacher:

1. To the greatest teacher ever! Thank you for everything.

2. You possess tremendous patience and understanding.

    Thank you for being such a wonderful teacher.

3. You possess tremendous patience and understanding.

    Thank you for being such a wonderful role model.

General Good Fortunes:

1. A lifetime of happiness lies ahead of you.

2. A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance.

3. A person's character is their destiny.

4. A wise son makes a glad father.

5. Ideas are like your children. Yours are always the best.

6. A hour with friends is worth more than ten with strangers.

7. Answer just what your heart prompts you.

8. By listening, one will learn truths. By hearing, one will only learn half-truths.

9. Discontent is the first step in the progress of humans.

10. Do not mistake temptation for opportunity.

11. Don't be persuaded by other's mal intent.

12. Failure is the mother of success.

13. Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.

14. Ignorance never settles a question.

15. Keep true to the dreams of your youth.

16. Meeting adversity well is the source of your strength.

17. Nothing in the world is accomplished without passion.

18. Getting together with old friends brings new adventures.

19. What you desire is always possible. It will come to you.

20. Patience is the key to joy.

21. The road of knowledge begins with the turn of the page.

22. Time is the wisest counselor.

23. You are a source of wisdom and strength to many people.

24. You are kind and broad-minded.

25. You are known to be quick in action and decisive.

26. Your enthusiasm towards work will soon pay off.

27. You have a deep appreciation of the arts and music.

28. You have a deep interest in all that is artistic.

29. You have an unusually magnetic personality.

30. You have a gentle and loving nature.

31. You will never be last in line... you will always excel.

32. You never hesitate to tackle the most difficult problems.

33. You will share great news with all the people you love.

34. You will travel far and wide for both pleasure and business.

35. You're winsome smile will be your sure protection.

36. Your blessing is to be safe and sound for your whole lifetime.
37. Your character can be described as natural and unrestrained.
38. Your cheerful outlook is one of your strongest assets.

39. Your emotional nature is strong and sensitive.

40. Your example will inspire others.

41. Your kindness is surely to be repaid.

42. Your secret desire to completely change your life will manifest.

43. Your skills will accomplish what the force of many cannot.

44. A good laugh and a good cry both cleanse the mind.

45. Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way
      before it is understood.

46. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

47. When you are right no one remembers. When you are wrong, no one forgets.

48. The one who says it cannot be done should never interrupt the one who is doing it.

49. You can't expect someone to see eye to eye with you when you are looking down at them.

50. You will always have everything that you will ever need.
51. A quiet evening with friends is the best tonic for a long day.
52. You will take a chance in something in the near future

53. Your dreams are never silly. Depend on them to guide you.

54. Joys are often the shadows, cast by sorrows.

55. A phone call to a good friend will ease your mind and lift your spirits.

56. You are able to undertake and complete anything.

57. Your self-confidence shines and makes a great impression on others.

58. Your ability for accomplishment will follow with success.

59. Patience is the best remedy for every trouble.

60. The small steps you take will ultimately bring you great fortune.

61. Your emotional nature is strong and sensitive.

62. Your happiness is intertwined with your outlook on life.

63. Your virtues are your priceless treasures.

64. With a little hard work, your creativity takes you to great heights.

65. Depend on the predictability and steadiness of life to support you.

66. Don't try so hard... the best things come when you least expect them to.

67. Remember, every minute spent angry is sixty seconds of happiness wasted.

68. Some people make the world special just by being in it. You are one of those people.

69. The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius knows its limits.

70. The secret of experiencing joy is to feel worthy of happiness.

71. Solitude is a friend. Learn to treasure, trust and enjoy it.

72. Nothing is worth doing unless the consequences may be serious.

73. When you don't have what you want, be grateful for what you don't have that you didn't want.

74. The best armor is to keep out of range.

75. In times of danger, absence of body is better than presence of mind.

76. Remember a woman's birthday, but never her age.

77. A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice.

78. You see pictures in poems and poems in pictures.

79. Do not forget little kindnesses, and do not remember small faults.

80. May good fortune knock on your gate.

81. May you find honey even among the bitter flowers.

82. Your still tongue makes a wise head.

83. Your wisdom is a treasure for all time.

84. You cannot open a book without learning something.

85. An egotist is like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow.

86. Parenthood is the state of being better chaperoned than you were before marriage.

87. Life is something that happens to you when you're making other plans.

88. Dare to be wrong: there is glory in a great mistake.

89. Happiness is good health and a bad memory.

90. Laugh and you will last.

91. People may doubt what you say, but they will believe what you do.

92. People who fly into a rage always make bad landings.

93. Anger is the wind that blows out the lamp of intelligence.

94. When you argue with a fool, be sure he isn't doing the same thing.

95. If you want to soar with eagles, avoid running with turkeys.

96. Pat yourself on the back and you may dislocate your shoulder.

97. If you know all the answers, you probably misunderstood the questions.

98. Your wishbone will never replace your backbone.

99. To make the right decisions, you must be free to make the wrong ones.

100. Diamonds are chunks of coal that stuck to their job.

101. Keep your road to happiness always under construction.

102. Face the music even when you don't like the tune.

103. Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

104. Problems are opportunities in work clothes.

105. The first thing to do is fall in love with your work.

106. Silence is an awesome answer.

107. If you roll up your sleeves, you won't lose your shirt.

108. He who looks behind will never get ahead.

109. A girl worth kissing is not easily kissed.

110. Listen to the tongue of experience; it holds mot truth.

111. A truly great person never puts away the simplicity of a child.

112. A hasty man drinks tea with a fork.

113. Ignorance is the night of the mind.

114 May the footsteps of your fortune be not slippery.

115. May you find honey even among the bitter flowers.

116. Use the trowel of patience to dig out the roots of truth.

117. Birds are entangled by their feet, and men by their tongues.

118. If you want to make footprints in the sands of time, don't sit down.

119. Presents often endear absents.

120. Every calling is great when greatly pursued.

121. Never give advice in a crowd.

122. He who begins too much accomplished little.

123. There is nothing so annoying as arguing with a person who knows what he is talking about.

124. A critic is a legless man who teaches running.

125. You often meet destiny in the road you take to avoid it.

126. Two wrongs don;t make a right, but they make a good excuse.

127. The ear is the road to the heart.

128. A fool that can keep silent is counted among the wise.

129. It is sometimes expedient to forget even what you know.

130. Give unasked and you give double.

131. A small gift is better than a great promise.

132. Genius is only great patience.
133. Nothing is more tiring than being grateful all the time.

134. Happiness is a form of courage.

135. The happiest people are those who are too busy to notice.

136. Choose a happy heart over a full purse.

137. Being a hero is the shortest-lived profession on earth.

138. A day when you have laughed is wasted.

139. Imagination is more important that knowledge.

140. The best time to study human nature is when you are alone.

141. A good laugh will bring sunshine to your house.

142. If you have nothing to lose, you can try everything.

143. Some people are good losers, and others can't act.

144. The cruelest lies are often told in silence.

145. When elephants fight, it is the grass that suffers.

146. You can observe a lot just by watching.

147. Get someone else to blow your horn, and the sound will carry twice as far.

148. If there be no remedy, why worry?
149. You are compassionate enough to understand human frailties.

150. You are wise enough to recognize your own mistakes.

151. You are humble enough to appreciate greatness.

152. You are thoughtful of your neighbor.

153. Be brilliant enough to accept flattery without becoming arrogant.

154. Keep silent and people will think you are a philosopher.

155. In time of sickness, the soul collects itself anew.

156. Silence is also speech.

157. Silence is the ultimate weapon of power.

158. Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn.

159. A day of sorrow is longer than a month of joy.

160. Sing to scare away your woes.

161. A little spark kindles a great fire.

162. Success has many friends.

163. Teaching another is the best way to learn yourself.

164. Time gives good advice.

165. All the treasures of the earth cannot bring back one lost moment.

166. If you stay in the valley, you will never get over the hill.

167. There are some defeats more triumphant than victories.

168. No one ever becomes wicked all at once.

169. If things are not as you wish, wish them as they are.

170. The most difficult part of getting to the top of the ladder is getting through the crowd at the bottom.

171. It is easier to be wise for others than yourself.

172. The wise see as much as they should, not as much as they can.

173. The rough shell may have a good kernel.

174. Danger makes men bold.

175. In a horse trade, know either the horse or the man.
176. You can't keep trouble away, but you needn't offer it a chair.

177. Love your neighbor, but don't cut down your hedge.

178. If passion drives, let reason hold the reins.

179. To know someone you must summer and winter together.

180. Opportunity is everything in love and war.

181. You will be rewarded by your kindness to others.

182. Someone you care about seeks reconciliation.

183. The troubles you have now will pass away quickly.

184. Your love life will soon be happy and harmonious.

185. A new venture will be a success.

186. A pleasant surprise is in store for you.

187. You will be deeply loved.

188. Your life will be full of true friendships.

189. You should consider a career in design.

190. You have a terrific eye for color.

191. You are open-minded and quick to make new friends

192. Opportunities to shine in your career will materialize soon.

193. Soon you will encounter a whole new world of opportunity.

194. The current year will bring you great happiness.

Friendship:

1. Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave and impossible to forget.

2. Best friends are the siblings G-d forgot to give us.

3. When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead,
     you can look beside you and your best friend will be there.

4. Good friends are like stars... you don't always see them, but you know they are always there.

5. Most people walk in and out of your life, but only friends leave footprints in your heart.

6. Friendship is a living thing that lasts only as long as it is nourished with kindness and understanding.

7. A true friend doesn't sympathize with your weakness; instead they help summon your strength.

8. A good friend will be your nearest relation.

9. Your friendships will not freeze in winter.

10. You will be rich with true friends.

11. Old friends, old wine, old gold are the best.

12. Laughter is a good beginning for a friendship and the best ending for one.

13. A good friend speaks well of you behind your back.

14. Make new friends, but don't forget the old ones.

15. Love is blind, friendship closes its eyes.

16. Your friendship is a sheltering tree.

17. The best mirror is an old friend.

18. Old shoes and old friends are best.

19. A friend nearby is better than a brother far off.

20. Friendship is the thread that ties two souls together.

21. Great minds think alike, especially when they are female.

22. Friends are like wine; they get better with age.

23. An understanding friend is better than a therapist; and cheaper too!

24. Calories don't count when you are having lunch with your friends.

25. Gems may be precious, but friendship is priceless.

26. A friend is more valuable than a fortune.

For Women Only:
1. The smallest package there is, is a man all wrapped up in himself

2. Men once subscribed to the theory of male superiority... women cancelled the subscription.

3. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.

4. A wife always has a least one child ... her husband.

5. A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.

6. Behind every great woman is ... herself.

7. You will have a great hair day tomorrow.

8. Any woman can keep a secret, but she generally needs another to help her.

9. Women are strong when they arm themselves with their weaknesses.

10. No man is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.

11. Man has his will, but woman has her way.

12. Men are not to be measured in inches, but it sure helps.

13. Men are made to be managed and women are born managers.
      - George Meredith

14. Women have more imagination than men. They need it to tell men how wonderful they are.

15. Plain women know more about men than beautiful ones do.
      - Katherine Hepburn

16. Great minds think alike, especially when they are female.

17. One is not born a woman, one becomes one.
      - Simone de Beauvoir

18. In politics if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.
      - Margaret Thatcher

19. Men and melons are hard to know.

20. She who has sense has strength.

21. Some women are not beautiful... they only look as though they are.

22. Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

23. Women are rarely as successful as men... they have no wives to advise them.

24. Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you streak your mascara.

25. She who marries for money earns it.

26. It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son,

and another twenty minutes to make a fool of him.

27. It is possible that blondes also prefer gentlemen.

28. The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age.

29. A man falls in love through his eyes. A woman, through her ears.

30. Never eat more than you can lift.
      - Miss Piggy
31. The best way to turn a women's head is to tell her she has a beautiful profile.
      - Sacha Guitry

32. A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.

Love and Romance:

1. A beautiful, smart and loving person will be coming into your life.

2. You or a close friend will be married within a year.

3. Your love life will be happy and harmonious.

4. One must kiss a few frogs before Prince Charming comes along.

5. Passionate new romance appears in your life when you least expect it.

6. To love and win is the best thing. To love and lose is the next best.

7. When you have a passion for compassion, your love will never be rationed.

8. Love is the answer, no matter the question.

9. The secret to love is to love others as you love yourself.

10. It is better to be irrational in love than rational.

11. To be able to experience love, you must be able to forgive.

12. To live a life of love is to live a life of surrender.

13. Unconditional love is free of judgments and condemnation.

14. You are open and honest in your philosophy of love.

15. The heart is wiser than the intellect.

16. Your eyes have magnetized a secret admirer.

17. Answer just what your heart prompts you.

18. A long, lost love will cross your path.

19. You are open and honest in your philosophy of love.

20. You are demonstrative with those you love.

21. Go with your instincts when it comes to romance.

22. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to,
      doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

23. Never frown, you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

24. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

25, Don't waste time on someone who isn't willing to waste time on you.

26. Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.

27. To love is to stop comparing.

28. Those who love deeply never grow old.

29. Your love will be friendship set afire.

30. Be of love a little more careful than anything.
      - e.e.cummings

31. Love demonstrated is irresistible.

32. To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.

33. A man falls in love through his eyes. A woman, through her ears.

34. Love without return is a question without an answer.

35. Love will speak to you even when lips are closed.

36. Mistrust is an axe at the tree of love.

37. Pardon as you love.

38. Married couples who love each other tell each other a thousand things without talking.

39. Give more love to get more love.

Ms. Fortunes... slightly mean but funny fortunes!

1. Laugh at your problems... everyone else does.
2. I don't know what your problem is but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you are saying.
4. The fact that no one understands you doesn't make you an artist.
5. If I throw a stick, will you leave??
6. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
7. Nice fragrance. Must you marinate in it??
8. You have the personality of a doorknob.
9. The sound of your voice reminds me of nails on a chalkboard.
10. Everyone thinks your psychotic, except your friends from the center of the Earth.
11. If it weren't for caffeine, you'd have no personality whatsoever.
12. If at first you don't succeed, then crawl back under the rock from which you came.
13. You're only young once, but you've been immature your whole life.
14. Drawing on your fine command of language, you said nothing.
15. Errors have been made. You will be blamed.
16. Failure is the mother of success. Too bad you're an orphan.
17. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
18. When I think of you, it reminds me of irritable bowel syndrome.
19. You will fall in love with a geek.
20. Don't try to think under pressure... you could hurt yourself.
21. You aren't paranoid... people really ARE staring.
22. Stop talking. You aren't that interesting.
23. Stop worrying about how you look. You are beyond repair.
24. If misery loves company, you're surrounded.
25. You could use some exercise.
26. The Department of Health phoned and the results are positive.

27. At least you have your health.
28. You secretly want to be a Spice Girl.
29. You are becoming your parents.
30. Someday those photos will get out!
31. Your boss doesn't hate you, just your co-workers.
32. Stop criticizing yourself, stupid!
33. You should get out of town, fast!
34. You rode the short bus, didn't you??

35. Stop thinking tomorrow will be better.
36. Your mind overflows with useless knowledge.
37. You have a knack for attracting weirdo's.
38. You are your own pet peeve.
39. You will receive a new honor... least likely to succeed.
40. You are sweating in places you would rather not be reminded of.
41. If you talked about what you understood, the silence would be unbearable.
42. Time to cut the cord from mommy.
43. You have no outstanding traits.
44. If you do something right the first time, no one will appreciate how difficult it was.
45. You will be unfortunate in all that you attempt.
46. The star of poverty is shining on you.
47. Watch out, those subtle looks may foretell upcoming failure.
48. Your life will never be graced with the presence of stardom.
49. If given an open book exam, you will likely forget your book.
50. You have little understanding of the arts and music.
51. You will not advance far with your meager abilities.
52. Simplicity and boredom are your themes of dress.
53. Save now for future calamity.
54. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.